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Gooch the Bulldog Moves In
by Scott Denholm
For lack of a better or more descriptive explanation for this animal, I would have to call it a cinder block with feet. He currently weighs around 15 lbs and has paws that look more in relation to a pair of fly swatters than feet. Growth estimate is about 14 inches and 55 lbs. His eating habits are that of old yeller after it had gone rabid (voracious does not quite describe the event). It is, however, somewhat interesting that an animal of this stature would have more the personality of plush toy than a pit bull, but, hey, that's why we got him.

Father & Daughter and said animal have survived the first evening together relatively unscathed factoring in the absence of a mother's love and/or guidance. The animal did end up spending the majority of the evening in the walk-in shower due to the proximity to my sleeping environment and ease of cleanup. The small child appeared to be completely unaffected by the noises emanating from the animal's temporary housing. Which begs the question, why is it that the people who have made it most apparent, their desire for this sort of companionship, are the ones least likely to suffer the slings and arrows of this outrageous fortune! It also comes to pass that the one who had the either good fortune, good sense or just well-executed plan ( I'm thinking latter not former) to be away from the encampment had to ask the question "well, why didn't you let him sleep in the bed with you".

This is probably where the issues have gotten closer to, let's say "the exposed nerve", that only sleep depravation can bring. To which I quipped, "well feel free to hop your butt back on a plane, come home and do a better job".

This does not mean I'm not enjoying the new animal, but would be happy to have some level of assistance between the child's bath time and finding the dog. It is rather challenging to maintain a 4-year-old child and a puppy (or should I say lumbering oaf).

On the flip side the glaring stares from the other animals of the abode were far less understanding than that of the new father and child. As the old saying goes if looks could kill... well, the new animal and I would have met our maker somewhere around dinner time.

Lloyd, being a 13-year-old cat, has neither the patience nor desire for this sort of intrusion. Mimi, the 6-year-old cat, has a little more patience but made it very clear she was only tolerant to a point. That point, by the way, would be about 36 inches in any given direction of her. The tail becomes enlarged, the licking of the claws commences and a shrill tone comes from somewhere inside of her that reminds of the Lion King. Frankly, I didn't believe that small of an animal could make that kind of a noise. But life continues to surprise.

Well, with all of that said, I now have to go home for lunch to discover what has occurred in my absence. If I can make it to Saturday, when the wife comes home, Saturday is when I get to go out and binge drink BY MYSELF.

� Scott Denholm