The question is: Does the approval of another prove our worth in any way? Or, is it only a palliative that addresses the symptom but not the root cause of the disease? We might feel soothed and comforted for a while. We may feel reassured for a while. Eventually, however, the need rears its ugly head again, the need for validation by another, the need for approval and acceptance, the fear of rejection, the need to prove our worth to others. Why?

The need for acceptance by another is natural. Yet, to depend on the validation of another, to base our lives on it, to act with the purpose of gaining approval is a weakness that exposes our innate lack of confidence. Within ourselves, we are doubtful and unsure. What we lack within, we seek without. This applies to many things. What we lack within, we seek without. The characteristic of such seeking is that one thing is sought as a means to another, not for its own sake. Obviously, the sense of lack within; the sense of doubt within and the conditioned responses of approval seeking, need to be examined and questioned.

Am I sure of myself – in my decisions, in my clarity of thought and action? Have I thought clearly and correctly about my life? Am I living consciously? Are my decisions based on passing whim or are they a result of clarity and insight? Is the awareness in me throwing light on every dark corner of my mind? Or, are the cobwebs of notions, habitual patterns of living, strengthened by repetition calling the shots in my life? If I am completely aware of myself in thought and action, if I have turned the searchlight of complete attention on my every thought and action, if I am clear about my purpose, why do I need the crutch of another's opinion to walk? Why do we seek a confirmation of our views from another? Why do we seek validation by another? Why do we seek approval from another? Why do we seek to please another? Our fundamental relationship is with our own awareness, our deepest self. It is here we should seek approval; it is here we should seek inspiration; it is here we should seek guidance and it is here that we should seek validation.

If we fail to look within ourselves to find an answer to our insecurity, self doubt, our fears and our dilemmas, we are ignoring the only reliable map we will ever have. The wisdom of people wiser than us, well intentioned as they are, may be rest and respite for a weary traveler. Yet, we have to walk every step of the journey ourselves. On this journey of life, we progress through increasing self awareness and self discovery. We are proceeding to a destination of total awareness and discovery of the very ground of being where infinite peace, joy and contentment await us. The opinion of another, however valuable, is only a pointer. There is no way except to enquire and examine our own notions, to question our assumptions and prejudices. There is no way except to abide in stillness, observe ourselves in thought and action.

The light of infinite awareness is the illuminator and support we shall ever have. It is the only basis for sound thought and action. We don't have to hear sermons and obtain degrees to gain it. It is what we already are at the very core of our existence. It is the very basis of our observation and awareness. It is the perfection seeking expression in our various thoughts and action as we seek our pleasure and happiness, achievement and perfection. We do not seek to obtain perfection from without. We seek an expression of our innate perfection. This is fact. It is the mind boggling multiplicity of appearances that delude and confuse our limited understanding. Love makes the world go around – This is not a romantic fancy. It is the basis of existence and the very force behind our every breath and our every step. Love not confined to a particular individual or limited by notions and limitations but an infinite love based on the essential unity of all creation.

Every creature seeks its own survival, continuance, pleasure and fulfillment. This essential motivation unites every being on earth as a pointer to our very core which is infinite pleasure and contentment. Every human being ceaselessly seeks his own peace and contentment, pleasure and joy. Sustained observation will reveal that bliss unaffected by the ups and downs of material existence, unaffected by the passing vagaries of the mind, unaffected by the limitations of our understanding proves elusive until we abide in stillness. When we cease to seek a solution outside ourselves and abide in an awareness of our thought and action, we experience a lasting peace and contentment regardless of the turn of events. It is this inexhaustible treasure that we must turn to for strength and support, for insight and understanding.