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Is Self Awareness Evolutionary or Voluntary?

A newly born child can just lie where it is and kick its legs in the air. At some point, it turns over onto its stomach. This is followed by dragging itself forward. It progresses to crawling on its knees. Then, it attempts to stand. It falls again and again but does'nt give up. A brave attempt to stand holding onto a chair or stool and plop - it falls back on its bottom. A moment later, it tries again. Eventually it does stand up. It then attempts its first tentative step forward. It learns how to walk and later, it learns how to run. Of course, I refer to a normal and healthy child as it grows up. The development of our bodies is natural and spontaneous. Our growth in physical terms is not a result of conscious choice. Growth and evolution in physical terms from cradle to grave seem to be involuntary. Is it the case with our spiritual development? It seems unlikely.

Awareness implies consciousness. It refers to the ability to be conscious and aware, to see things as they are. What if we choose to shut our eyes to reality as it is? What if we prefer to live in ivory towers postponing our awareness of reality? This is a choice all of us have at every step of our lives. We can either choose to keep our eyes open or keep them shut. We can choose to be aware or choose to shut out our awareness. We can accept and acknowledge reality or we can seek to escape it. Reality does'nt disappear because we choose to shut our eyes to it. We will ignore reality only for a while. Sooner or later, we will be compelled to accept, acknowledge and honor reality. This means that sooner or later, every human being will have to address issues that trouble his mind, will have to come to terms with what he seeks in his life and how he wishes to live.

We will have to examine ourselves and our lives, our relationships and our work, our fulfillment and our frustration. To do so will make our lives meaningful. We will be walking with our eyes open. To evade facts, to deny pain, to seek escape in rationalization and pleasure, power and status, to keep our attention focused on externals will leave us unprepared for the bumps on the road of life. For, sooner or later, we will face challenges in the form of failure, pain, death of a loved one, plans gone awry, unfulfilled expectations. It is in these trying times, in the midst of our trials and tribulations that we will encounter the complexities and challenges we face within ourselves, within our own minds. It is at such times that we will be forced to think and examine our own deepest values and beliefs, our perceptions and priorities.

Since our awareness of ourselves and the world we live in is fundamental to our own clarity and fulfillment on the journey of our lives, we must choose to be aware of life as it is and ourselves as we are. This means a direct perception free from notions and prejudice. It implies an awareness that looks beyond images and masks, an attention that is completely focused on the object of our understanding. Our capacity to focus complete attention on work, on study, on relationships and roles will fetch its own rewards. Yet, in the midst of successes and failures, in the constant discovery of the unknown that is life, we will eventually be called upon to focus attention on ourselves and the working of our own mind. Sooner or later, we will have to seek and find fulfillment within ourselves.

As we progress on the road of life, we realise that joys and sorrows are inevitable. Joy and sorrow, success and defeat, pleasure and pain – these pairs of opposites characterize our material life, our realities. The key to successful living is to welcome each of these as an opportunity to learn and grow and to seek an inner anchor to maintain our mental poise and equanimity in the midst of the ups and downs of life. This action of seeking and finding equanimity in a world of change is a choice to be aware, to open our eyes to life as it is, every moment. As we expand the conscious capacity of our mind, as we realise that both joy and sorrow are experienced within ourselves, we learn to focus more on our inner world. We learn to focus our attention on the stage of our own mind where various feelings and thoughts battle for supremacy. A stillness of mind can lead us to greater awareness and clarity of not only the world we live in but also the perceptual lens through which we see the world.

Life as human beings gives us a unique opportunity to think beyond survival, to use the powers of our minds to grow both inwardly and outwardly. Our minds, individually and collectively, have focused on outward growth, on the conquest of matter and the acquisition of material gains and advancement. Yet, each of us will do well to remember that happiness is a state of mind and it is only our inner peace and contentment that will fulfill us. What wisdom can there be in a life lacking in love, peace and contentment? How can we give these away if we don't have it within ourselves? Directly or indirectly, sooner or later, we will have to admit these questions into our awareness. We will have to ask and answer questions of fundamental and final significance. Whether we choose to do so and enhance our awareness or evade and escape our capacity for greater awareness of ourselves will be a decision that each of us will individually make. Of course, each of us will live with the consequences of our own decisions.

External enemies can be avoided or evaded. Victory can be obtained by one means or another. Yet, defeat is certain if we make an enemy of our awareness, if choose to shut our eyes to life as it is, if we fail to seek and find a greater awareness of ourselves. Awareness is our true being. With complete self awareness comes a lasting understanding, peace, contentment and joy. Let us clear the cobwebs of notions cluttering our minds and turn towards it.

© Ashok Gollerkeri