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Meditations
When God Does Things His Way
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways
September 02, 2006

Have we ever been absolutely positive God would do something a certain way only to discover His solution was different than the one we anticipated? After our initial reaction where we found ourselves rationalizing away what had happened as the interference of another, have we had to accept that God's actions produced results far greater than our solution had the potential to produce? Have we ever been so judgmental as to interfere with God's moves because we were sure our idea was the only correct way? OK, now that everyone's had a chance to admit they might have been in the wrong once or twice, let's consider some examples in the Bible where God/Jesus confounded everyone.

Remember the men who dropped their crippled friend down through the roof to Jesus' feet anticipating his healing. They must have been taken back when Jesus told the man he was forgiven his sins instead of Jesus healing him. Yes, the man was healed later, but that was not Jesus first action.

When everything went wrong for Job and all his friends were attempting to determine what Job had done wrong, God was saying Job had not done anything wrong. Instead of God commending the friends for their brilliant judging of Job, God condemned them for interfering with his plans for Job.

We know the Pharisees were expecting Jesus to condemn the woman caught in adultery, but he didn’t, did he?

In Genesis 25, Jacob cheated his older brother out of his birthright and God still honored him by placing him in Jesus lineage—along with Rahab, a prostitute who had betrayed her own countrymen and Solomon, son of David and Bathsheba, the result of a relationship begun in adultery.

The list goes on but, for me, this is enough to convince me I’m no judge of anything or anyone. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. --Isaiah 55:8

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Musings
A Conduit for God
I just have to keep the piece of conduit clean and free flowing so God can use it
September 05, 2006

I am a tiny piece of conduit…a shiny white piece of pipe through which things can flow while my body serves as the casing.

This sparkling clean piece of conduit is me. It could be filled as I choose. I could stuff the conduit full - full of things for me, full of things that make me feel good, things that make me look good. I could stuff it till it overflows; then slip so completely into all my things that I get lost and can never be found.

Or………

I can keep that conduit clean. I can keep it empty and free flowing so God can use that little piece of pipe as He first planned for it to be used. I can be the piece of conduit through which miracles flow and armies march. I can be in the middle of great moments in time.

I don’t have to be smart. I don’t have to be beautiful or handsome. I don’t have to have a wonderful personality or astound people with my marvelous talents. I just have to keep the tiny piece of pipe clean and free flowing so God, in using me, can do awesome things. Then my life will become one of great adventure and glorious victories.

"Jesus did not say, 'He who believes in Me will realize all the blessings of the fullness of God,' but, in essence, 'He who believes in Me will have everything he receives escape out of him.' Our Lord’s teaching was always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a person— His purpose is to make a person exactly like Himself, and the Son of God is characterized by self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain but what He pours through us that really counts. God’s purpose is not simply to make us beautiful, plump grapes, but to make us grapes so that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us. Our spiritual life cannot be measured by success as the world measures it, but only by what God pours through us— and we cannot measure that at all." --Oswald Chambers

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Teachings
The One Thing Necessary
God has the plan and He gives the happiness when we stay with the one thing necessary
September 08, 2006

I watch the children on the street dashing madly from one adventure to another, never remaining long enough to find out if this moment is what they are looking for or if it has the potential of developing into something of value. They rush up my steps and with hungry eyes plead, "read to us!" Before I can grab a book, someone goes by on a bike or in a car and the shout arises, "there's somebody we want to see!" and off they go only to return moments later when things have not worked out to their liking. But this time it may not be "read"; it may be "play!". And so it goes, their days filled with endless searching for what they do not know.

For teens and young adults, little has changed as we are faced with so many decisions about what we want to do with our lives without having the prerequisites in our background which will assist us in making valid decisions. We don't want someone else's wisdom; we want to experience it all ourselves and we feel the necessity to make decisions before experiencing so here we go chasing ourselves just like the children in the street are doing. Difference is, the stakes are much higher and the mistakes far more disruptive.

The fortunate people are those who grasp what Thomas Merton is meaning when he says, "Happiness consists in finding out precisely what the ‘one thing necessary’ may be, in our lives, and in gladly relinquishing all the rest."

It matters not at what age we find our 'one thing necessary', it greatly matters that we find it. With many decades behind me, I have now realized I was making it all far too complicated. The answer was very simple. I was striving to achieve when God only wanted me to surrender.

Even though I have consciously surrendered, I still make the mistake of occasionally reaching for the rest. The last few weeks have been difficult as I have stressed over some of the children's situations. I know there's not a lot I could do but I kept looking for the little something, the little someplace where I might make a difference. Here I was, once again trying to take on something outside the 'one thing necessary'. Relinquishing the rest, surrendering to God, and having that book at hand next time--that's all I was to do. It's God's world and God has the plan and He gives the happiness when we stay with the one thing necessary!

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Musings
Crimes of Society
Harmful deeds carry a price no matter in whom's name they are perpetrated
September 11, 2006

It is 9/11. Mistakes have been made by all parties--mistakes were made by all prior to 9/11/01 and mistakes have been made since. If I had the opportunity to address all, I'd give them Thomas Merton for he says it so well:

"There are crimes which no one would commit as an individual which he willingly and bravely commits when acting in the name of his society, because he has been (too easily) convinced that evil is entirely different when it is done 'for the common good.' As an example, one might point to the way in which racial hatreds and even persecution are admitted by people who consider themselves, and perhaps in some sense are, kind, tolerant, civilized and even humane. But they have acquired a special deformity of conscience as a result of their identification with their group, their immersion in their particular society. This deformation is the price they pay to forget and to exorcise that solitude which seems to them to be a demon."

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Teachings
Surrender
Surrender is hard, remaining surrendered takes effort
September 14, 2006

My personal recipe for disaster includes a hard head, a soft heart, uncompromising self-will and an overdose of ambition. The soft heart has created a deep yearning for a spiritual life but the other components have caused me to struggle with the Bible teachings on the surrendered life--seems like forever. I just want to do it my way--I don't need to control others unless their will interferes with my plans and, sad to say, God's will constantly interferes with my plans.

I study the Bible teachings; I read the great writers, Christian and non-Christian, and am firmly rooted in my belief in the One Living God, Father/Son/Holy Spirit. Many of the non-Christian writers have given me excellent guidelines on how to live my day-to-day life, but I was unable to attain 'the peace that passeth understanding' without a personal relationship with the Living God.

As I embarked upon my journey to God, I encountered many stumbling blocks and when I really, honestly examined them, their description always included 'self-will'. Because God knows me better than I know myself, I cannot slip anything over on him.

In the Bible, I read that gluttony was a major sin. Back when I was still angry with ex-husbands, I'd purposely gotten fat because I wanted to eliminate personal human relationships from my life. As time went on, God helped me work through the anger part but I was still fat. I realized I needed to do something about the weight issue and I asked God to help me lose my appetite. Yes, to lose my appetite is what I prayed for but there was an element of insincerity in that prayer. I didn't realize it, but of course God never misses a beat. So he didn't take my appetite away and for several more years, I gradually increased the weight.

Even though I thought my prayer was going unanswered, I would read that God always answers prayers so watch out what you pray for because you just might get it. This sounded like a threat instead of a promise because I was still not aware of the part my self-will and my inability to surrender was playing.

The benefits at my work required complete physicals every so often and I presented myself at the doctor's office expecting to be handed a clean bill of health. Needless to say I was shocked to be told I had kidney disease. I denied the possibility the diagnosis was correct because there is no kidney disease in my background.

More years have passed since that shocker and I am required to be very conscious of what I eat. By eating correctly, I am remaining in a stable, healthy condition but God does have his way of continually reminding me I must do things his way and to watch what I think because he is in control and he knows my mind and my heart.

"No man can come to Me, except the Father which hath sent Me draw him." John 6:44

"When God draws me, the issue of my will comes in at once--will I react on the revelation which God gives--will I come to Him? …Belief is not an intellectual act; belief is a moral act whereby I deliberately commit myself. Will I dump myself down absolutely on God and transact on what He says? If I will, I shall find I am based on Reality that is as sure as God's throne....There must be a surrender of the will, not a surrender to persuasive power, a deliberate launching forth on God and on what He says until I am no longer confident in what I have done, I am confident only in God. The hindrance is that I will not trust God, but only my mental understanding. As far as feelings go, I must stake all blindly. I must will to believe, and this can never be done without a violent effort on my part to disassociate myself from my old ways of looking at things, and by putting myself right over on to Him. " –Oswald Chambers

Surrender is hard, remaining surrendered takes effort, but it is the only life worth considering.

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Musings
Going to Hell Anyway
How does a good-hearted person come to believe they are doomed
September 17, 2006

She came to my door with a big smile on her face. In her hands were two warm soft drinks. Since I already had a cold one open, I offered to switch her warm one for a cold drink and we sat down on the front porch to talk. Whenever she comes like this, I know she needs to talk.

She told me about the NASCAR pool at the bar. She was sure she had won big money, but somehow it was the bar owner who ran the pool who came out the winner. She only has a few days to redeem her home which was sold at a tax auction and the money is nowhere to be found. So we rehashed a very old conversation about how the tax money was just a drop in the bucket compared to the cost of repairing the home so it would pass the Health Department's inspection. She set the dream of returning to her home aside and we talked of using any money she might obtain to fix up the home of the sister with whom she is living.

After the conversation had turned to how the children were doing in school, I received a call on my cell phone. I started to ignore the call but she said I should take it, so I did. It turned out to be my stock broker checking up on me. She seemed to be in one of her trance-like moods so I went ahead and talked to him about my next need for funds--which turned out to be property taxes.

As the conversation ended, she was still sitting motionless and staring into the distance. While I was returning the cell phone to my pocket, she quietly said, "I will help you with your taxes."

I just looked at her for a moment, then I replied, "No one would help you with your taxes, but you would help me?"

"Yes", she nodded. She went on to say she had no needs since she was going to commit suicide in her home the day before it was gone. The plan to kill herself was not a new one but seemed to have receded from her consciousness since she'd begun to help with the homeless and had realized how much the children in her family loved her. The children are frequently telling her they love her so we turned the conversation to their needs and the importance of her staying for them.

Then she grew quiet again; after a long pause she rose from her chair, "I'm going now. I might as well commit suicide, I'm going to hell anyway."

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Praise
He Tore Down the Wall
God's Immense Mercy and Incredible Love
September 20, 2006

Anquish is the word I would use to describe my spirit as I write this. There is so much pain all around me: so many people determined to do things their own way all the while drowning in the consequences of earlier actions and continually compounding those mistakes by turning to the ways of the world for guidance.

"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us... --Ephesians 2:1, The Message (MSG)

It is so painful to listen hour after hour to troubles knowing I have no answers for them other than to turn it over to God and let it go. The only response they will not accept from me is "turn it over to God and let go." I can quietly listen and silently whisper to my Lord for help as I remember when I was struggling as they are struggling; refusing to turn it over and let go. And silently, I cannot refrain from rejoicing in the knowledge of who my God is and what He has done for His children.

"...Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah." --Ephesians 2:1, The Message (MSG)

"Prayer is not only dialogue with God; it is the communion of our freedom with His ultimate freedom, His infinite spirit. It is the elevation of our limited freedom into the infinite freedom of the divine spirit, and of the divine love. Prayer is the encounter of our freedom with the all-embracing charity which knows no limit and knows no obstacle.." --Thomas Merton

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Meditations
My Plan or His
Do I really want to know and do God’s will?
September 23, 2006

The world teaches, "prudent people plan ahead". Our parents put away money during our childhood for our education or to help us begin our adult life. We are continually reminded of the importance of top grades in preparing ourselves for a good future. Getting the best education and staying in school through college, perhaps even advanced degrees, is always being pressed upon us by parents and teachers.

We plan and plan and plan: what kind of job, where do we live, do we marry, do we have children, how many children, do we buy a house now or later? The world is impatient to see we make plans and put our nose to the grindstone in order to reach all the preset goals.

Then comes God. God says let go and let him take control. How come I never heard this when I was young and carefree and would have been quite satisfied to turn it over to another? Now I have all this baggage to carry, people depending on me, responsibilities to fulfill. How do I turn loose of everything now? Do I really want to know and do God’s will?

Do I first make my own plans and then insist that God make my dreams come true? I've been drilled on self-will for so many years, how do I turn it all around and leave it all up to God? I've searched the Bible and have not been able to find assurances that God will make our dreams come true. On the contrary, I have found more than one place where He asks us to surrender our will to his:

"Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?" Matthew 16:24, The Message (MSG)

or Matthew 16:23-25 in the King James Version of the Bible:

23But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

24Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

25For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

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Musings
Going to Hell Anyway II
There is often more wisdom to be found at the edges of life than in its middle
September 27, 2006

Some weeks have passed since she told me she was going to commit suicide in her home the day before it was taken for back taxes. She came into the main room at The Living in Simple Faith House where earlier I had been joined by a younger man who had been her neighbor all through his childhood. They chatted amicably, remembering the days when they'd delivered newspapers. He really wanted to know how she was doing, but she was not forthcoming.

At first, stony silence met his inquiries so he began to relate the story of his life since his tour of duty in Desert Storm. He talked of the health issues related to Desert Storm and of the struggles to maintain a normal lifestyle. After finishing a story about giving his dilapidated old car away and turning his life over to God, she relaxed and began to tell us of all the close calls in her life. We concluded she didn't have 9 lives--she had 99!

That's when the illumination of understanding entered the room. If she had survived close call after close call for five decades, this must be proof of how much God really loves her! We talked of her efforts to feed the homeless, of her looking after her nieces and nephews, of her taking care of me when I was sick--we talked of the many blessings she had accrued through her kindnesses to others.

Slowly she began to recall the past, she recalled a time when she could think more clearly and had felt closer to God.

Today she came to sit on my porch while waiting for her ride to feed the homeless. She wore a beautiful smile and was so free of the stress I've come to associate with her. For the first time since I've known her, she seemed to be considering turning over the loss of her home to God and accepting His Will.

"There is often more wisdom to be found at the edges of life than in its middle. A life-threatening illness, for instance, may shuffle our values like a deck of cards. Sometimes a card that has been on the bottom of the deck for most of our lives turns out to be the top card, the thing that really matters. Having watched people sort their cards and play their hands in the presence of death for many years, I would say that most often the top card is love." --Rachel Naomi Remen

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Praise
Patience, Please
We know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us
September 29, 2006

The primary reason I cannot think of myself as a writer is a problem with patience. Oh, how I admire people who put words on paper and then spend a great amount of time contemplating their correctness until they have examined those words from every angle and every perspective. Writers like C.S. Lewis used words to build monuments and he didn't do it by seeing how fast he could slap one brick (word) on top of another.

The main reason I did not truly enjoy my children's younger years was my impatience to get them in school and be on with living my own life. I missed so much and they didn't grow up any more quickly. I think they raised themselves long before God got me as far. "...We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" --Romans 5:3, The Message

I may not have enough patience and I may never get it right but I ran out of containers a long time ago. I'd ask to borrow a few really big containers but I know you are going to need them yourselves. He is an awesome God!!

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