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I Wish I Could Tell You
by Nancy!~Lotusbud

To seek is the beginning of any quest. It has always been my belief each life is sacred, no more no less than the next. Since there are many concepts of God in our world today, I do not see any reason to spend one's whole existence exploring just one path. Our lives change many times as we grow and there are a multitude of paths and different directions that can nourish and teach us the value of many traditions.

There are numerous houses of worship and God/Allah/Great Spirit/ Yahweh/Wakan Tanka ~ or whatever name you choose to use, is an all knowing, all seeing, all-powerful Being, who does not play favorites, but loves all of His children. He sits in our churches and temples, in our mosques, synagogues and shrines to name only a few. He is part of the sacred ebb and flow of life and the Great Mystery. He is at home around a tribal council and walks with us along the shores of a midsummer�s day. He rests with us beneath the old Cedars, and joins us in the quiet meadows. He is there when we call His name in the midst of our fear and sorrow, waiting to tend our wounds. He carries us when the load weighs us down, smiles upon as we walk the path of life, and greet us when it is time to return Home.

In some circles, praying is a bit out of style. It� s done only in the extreme circumstances of life and death. In other circles, praying has become a meaningless mumbo-jumbo of mindless rituals full of words, with little heart. Still in other circles, we are told how and when to pray and to close our minds to new or different ideas. Some say the simplest prayers are best, while others proclaim prayer must be taught using certain rituals and ceremony. There have been and continue to be debates, arguments and wars over whose way is the �WAY!� Perhaps the best way to approach prayer can be described as any practice that expresses our relationship or connection with the sacred!

When frustration and anxiety overwhelms us, we find ourselves searching for answers and often turning to prayer. The two questions I am most frequently asked, �How should I pray?� and �Why aren�t my prayers answered?� The answer to the first question is simple, talk to God as you would a dear old friend! That�s what I do. Although some may argue there is a specific approach to prayer, I have discovered there really isn�t a "correct� way or �special� place to go in order to pray, just speak from you heart. Prayer is the act of communicating our thoughts and feelings to a Divine Presence, a Holy Being. He doesn�t care how or where we pray, only that we do. Each time we open ourselves up to the power of prayer, all things are possible. Yet when I speak of �all things� being possible, I do not mean we will necessarily receive the answers we seek, in fact, more times than not, the answers we want are not the ones that arrive. Sometimes there are no answers and we must accept what is, and choose to go on. The second question may appear more complicated and difficult but once again my response is simple�no one can respond to the word �WHY.� There are insufficient words or knowledge to explain the �whys� of life. Why is the road is paved with sorrow, pain, war, disease, starvation, sadness, unfairness, disappointment, loneliness, mistakes and more? If I knew, I would tell you. I suspect it has something to do with strengthening the �soul.�

As a young woman, I use to love visiting old places of worship. There was something very spiritual and sacred about them. I would spend hours just sitting, deep in thought. One day, I recall walking into a very ancient old Cathedral. Its beauty was indescribable. Upon entering, I found myself in the nave where Gothic arches, supported by pillars, were crowned with carvings of all different types of foliage. At the four corners of the nave, were sculptured heads representing the four Evangelists. I remember standing in the middle of the aisle gazing at the stained glass windows and at the pulpit. The script around the top of the pulpit read: "Go ye into the world and preach the Gospel" The figure in the front of the pulpit was that of Saint Paul. As I looked around at the nearly empty pews, I felt summoned to move closer and sit down. On my left, above the choir stalls, was an eighteenth century copy of Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper." It was all so beautiful. Closing my eyes for a moment, I felt God�s presence. How peaceful and comforting that was. When I opened my eyes, they were once again drawn to the statue. As I gazed at Saint Paul, I suddenly noticed tears running down his face. It was then the vision began. Men, women and children running, weeping�revelations of many lives twisted, tormented in anguish as their pain passed before me. As I sat there bewildered by the unfolding events, I began to cry, feeling helpless and frightened. All I could think of was, �Why Lord, Why?� Soon I heard an angelic voice whisper��but how else can you learn? If you let them, these events will be your greatest teachers.� I stayed motionless for perhaps a half hour before fully understanding what I had been shown. I knew then, without doubt, trials are our training ground and every experience we encounter in life was designed to teach us and help us take one step closer to the light.

I know there are those who claim to have all the answers to the �questions� whatever those questions might be. No matter what you ask, there would be an explanation. In my lifetime I have experienced many things. I have been to the other side and back, I �see� and �hear� that which is not visible to the naked eye and have conversed with the spirit world. In my work, I use my intuition to help others, yet with all of these �gifts� I have been blessed with, I wish I could tell you I have the answers to all your questions, but I can�t. I wish I could tell you, your prayers will be answered, but I won�t. I wish I knew why some things happen in life, but I don�t. I wish I could tell you since I dedicated my life to serving our Creator and humanity, the road has been smooth and carefree but it hasn�t.

I do not profess to be an ecumenical theologian nor do I consider myself an expert on the holy sacred texts of religious beliefs and traditions. My journey in life has been a transforming gift that brought me back to the Holy One through prayer, meditation and reflection. I believe prayer is our link to the Creator and meditation His link to us�reflection, I have always considered my "homework." My willingness to take on this mystery of the unknown can best be compared to finding oneself in an unfamiliar darkened room. Feeling temporarily blind and vulnerable, you are prepared to wait until your eyes adjust to the dark, and you can begin to see. As hard as it is to believe, there is holiness and meaning hidden in even the most painful circumstances and mundane tasks. It is only when we begin to see, we discover how faith and patience work together...hand-in-hand.

The ancient ones have taught me that anything we think, say or do affects what we create in our life. When we are out of sync and balance in our spiritual life, we live in chaos. It is only when we feel the rhythm of love and peace flowing through our being that all things become possible and we discover God is everywhere� in all things, all people as well as in ourselves. Only then, do we feel the connection � one to another � and to the Creator, understanding no matter what our religion, political affiliation, ethnicity, race, creed, gender or color of our skin, we respect and honor all without judgment, knowing none are the only �WAY.�

If there is to be peace in our world, we must be able to see and create ourselves in the image of that spirit. We must be able to communicate beyond all borders, languages and creeds. What is the gospel according to Jesus and all the great Spiritual Masters, �The love we all long for is already present in our innermost heart.� To live by these principles, teaches us to honor the paths of all human beings, without belittling or demeaning their sacred practices.

Let us wait in silence before we speak, kneel in gratitude to Him who calls. And rise to walk the good �black, brown, red, white and yellow� road. The challenge of our existence is to find the strength, courage and capacity to uncover that holiness. Not by someone else�s words, or religious beliefs but through our own vision, and action.

Walk softly, with peace and love in your heart!

� 2001 Nancy!~Lotusbud