Posted by Dee Ann E. L. Horvath on June 02, 2001 at 10:15:34:
It came to be me late one night
Like a bright searing hot searchlight
Exposing the truth deep in my soul
I wasn't looking for something or on some predestined route
I was running and avoiding reality without a doubt
For a terrifying apparition was haunting me
Afraid to turn around and meet my monster
I did many things to elude an introduction
Unconsciously creating chaos in my life
Keeping my mind occupied by seeking strife
It worked most of the time but there were moments
When I was unable to block out the fear
Knowing that if I looked into a mirror all the lies would appear
Staring me right in the face
Realizing the truth should make me feel strong
Instead all I felt was disgrace
That I was running from me all along
That I allowed the past events to take place
I tried to please the majority for apparently I was the minority
It was so much easier than constantly battling
However, in the long run nobody won
Knowing I had been untrue to myself
By years and years of giving in
I slowly but inevitably forgot who I was
I became the ghost of many years gone past
Refusing to die I haunted myself
Sleepless nights and tortured dreams
Causing me to fall apart at the seams
Till I no longer could deny
I had to stop living a lie
I will no longer hide within anymore
But combat my demons and declare war
Learn to listen to myself once more
And not be swayed by the ones I adore
I must rekindle my spirit and love myself again
Lift the heavy burden of disguising who I truly am
I will be free to once again be me
An even better person than I used to be
For it is then I will be able to command the respect
That it took an apocalypse in me to detect
Unencumbered I venture forth
No longer skiddish I embark
On the best part of my journey
Sharing fully all I have to offer
The revelation in me