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    Leave me be!



    I am really tired; but it is a good tired. I am overwhelmed by projects which have the ultimate goal of making life better for those in this little space I inhabit. It is one of those moments when a few hours of sound sleep will find me awakening with appreciation for my life as it is, right now--right here. So, why does God always seem to decide change is needed when things are going well? What's wrong with just a little complacency

    "So let me say this, extreme or mystical though it may seem: Our strength of character ultimately resides in our willingness to obey not our earthly superiors but the voice of God that resides within us." --M. Scott Peck

    Without realizing it, somewhere along the line, I've slipped up and said those forbidden words, "I will never...." I don't remember doing it, I do acknowledge experiencing the feeling that one segment of my life was history--so I must have said it with the finality of a closing door without thinking things through.

    Now, when I am happily exhausted, just as I am, comes a word which opens the closed door. The first time I can recall saying never was when my husband and I agreed we would never have children. Didn't take long for me to end up with three children whom I now deeply appreciate. I was certain I'd never divorce--that happened too. I was absolutely certain I'd never be in a position to have to claim bankruptcy--that happened too.

    I eventually surrendered to the voice of God and have lived for years now not knowing where I'd be tomorrow or what I'd be doing. It has been a rich life. It has been, unbelievably, an orderly life. I have now moved far enough beyond M. Scott Peck's assertions about strength of character and willingness to obey to realize it would take far more strength to disobey than it would to simply, blindly follow the spirit.

    Jane Mullikin
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