Spiritual Sisters
Spiritual Healing Serene Salad
Spiritual Voices Creativity Bakery
THE OTHER SIDE?
It's the next to oldest question in the joke book and comes with
subjectively hilarious variety of 'answers': Why did the chicken cross the
road? Please indulge my pecking around at this because it absolutely
fascinates me.
In some answers we explain the motivation. He was tied to the Rooster and
presumably he crossed the road. My kids said that there was food on the
other side and that's why. He was being chased by a dog. Seems a better
motivation I think.
In some answers we question his spirituality. For the same reason that
mankind must climb a mountain, chickenkind must cross the road: because
it's there.
The ever present suspension of the belief that 'there must be a reason' and
our search for it has compelled us to question chickens among other things.
But to search out a reason is merely scratching the surface without learning
anything about yourself or the chicken. To settle on the comfortable point
that you know something because you found the reason behind it is to stop
learning and growing all together. Martin H. Fischer has a quote I'm fond
of: a conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. So lets
take a closer look.
It started when I was writing a StarTrek book centering around Spocks
character. He'd decided to hunt down humor in the story and that got me
wondering what it really was. I found that locational commonality lent to
humor. Southerners will share in a jest that northerners scratch their
heads over. Racial commonality plays a role as well as gender generalities,
political inclinations, truth and inconsistencies. But what actually pries
a booming belly laugh from it's confines.
So I tried to think like Spock. Picturing him with the question of the
chicken and the road was entertaining indeed. Kirk and the Doctor would be
at the end of a great adventure, saved the galaxy again from some hideous
fate. They would be in the Transporter room, Kirk and the Doctor would turn
to Spock and, with knowing look and a wicked twinkle in his eye, the doctor
would pose the question as the oldest human mystery. "Why did the chicken
cross the road?" Both Kirk and the Doctor would laugh as they anticipated
the raising of his eyebrow in thought. Spock would then begin to dutifully
research chickens in an attempt to answer the question. I envision his
final report to the captain to go something like this:
Weeks later, Kirk and the doctor are going over some crew reports in Kirks
quarters when Spock shows up.
"Captain, I believe I have an answer for you."
Kirk slumps comfortably into his chair, data pad in hand. "Answer to what
Spock?" he asks, having forgotten the joke they played on their friend.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
The doctor looks up and grins. "It's a joke Spock. Humor. He did it to
get to the other side."
"Unlikely Doctor."
Kirk then notices the multiple reports in Spocks hands. "You have
reports?"
One by one he hands them to the Captain. "I began by compiling all known
data relating to physiology, social habits, migration patterns,
abnormalities, and nutritional requirements of chickens. I then cross
referenced all known answers to the joke including non-terran members of
Starfleet. Would it surprise you to know that almost every culture has a
similar 'joke'? In every case the joke was merely intended to provoke deep
thought and targeted introspection."
"It was a joke Spock." The doctor shakes his head and begins to chuckle
lightly to himself.
"I am nothing if not thorough."
By now, the Doctor is giggling uncontrollably with Kirk not far behind.
"What else did you find?" He says between gulps of air.
Undaunted by their jocularity, he continues. "Chickens are of lower
intelligence in comparison to other fowl of similar physiology. It is
therefore unlikely that they had any 'reason' for crossing the asphalt.
However, a gravel or dirt road hold some possibility's that they may have
confused the road with familiar territory but the percentage is low."
"How low Spock?" Kirk asks covering his mouth with his hand in a
undisguised attempt to appear serious.
"About 4,998.7 to one depending on the variables."
"Variables?" The Doctors voice warbles slightly as half a giggle gets
caught in the question.
"Yes. Wind conditions, temperature, road conditions, vehicles, and other
aberrant weather. Certainly the chicken wouldn't attempt such a crossing
during a flood, tornado, hurricane or if it were a Japanese Chicken, a
typhoon."
"Typhoon?!" Kirk can hold back no longer and brakes out into peals of
laughter. So hearty is the exchange that Spock waits patiently for the
noise to die down to deliver the rest of his report.
"In almost every animal species, the instinct to survive would override any
supposed desire on the chickens part to 'get to the other side.'
Furthermore, in reference to other answers, it is equally unlikely that the
chicken would be tied to anything and survive long enough to get to the
other side. I must point out as well that you have also presumed that the
chicken had an emotional desire to cross and then did so. Without the
proper research and observation it would not be possible to know this in one
way or the other."
The Doctor, musters all his remaining control and stands toe to toe with
Spock. "So what are you proposing? A mindmeld with a chicken?"
Spock folds his now empty hands behind him. " I ran 5,312 simulations
before I came to that conclusion myself. So I approached the biology
department about the question."
"No one reported..."
"They refused my request so I..." Spock looks vaguely uncomfortable.
"You made off with a chicken?!" shouts the Doctor, obviously delighted at
the prospect.
Kirk appears shocked. "You didn't!"
Spock tries to hold on to what was left of his dignity. "The Gallus
gallus, to be precise, wasn't harmed in any way and I promptly returned her
to her coop."
"So what did you find out?" The Doctor is so excited he's bouncing on his
feet.
Spock fixes him with a long gaze before answering. "I found that while
chickens aren't particularly bright, they are practical. The answer to the
question is simple."
"Well, don't keep us waiting. What is it?"
Spock shrugs slightly as if it were obvious. "She told me that a question
like that would have to be answered by the chicken who originally attempted
the crossing. The answer would then be that only the chicken knows why it
crossed the road."
"That's all?" The Doctor is clearly disappointed.
"I find the answer to be logical and complete. However, I was not able to
locate any references to the fowl or it's descendants. So I'm afraid the
question will remain a mystery. There is one other thing."
"And that would be..." Kirk prods.
"The chicken in question made a good point. She argued that a question
like that would reveal more about the person asking it then the habits of
chickens and I tend to agree with that assessment. He asked why we wanted
to know. I didn't know what to tell him but assured him I would asked those
who posed the question to me. So Captain, why did the person ask the chicken
why it crossed the road?"
Well, I never sold the book but I had a blast just thinking about the
exchange between them. And, I never answered the question of humor to my
satisfaction but for some reason, I understand it a bit better for the
searching. This whole wild goose, or chicken chase has reminded me that, in
life it isn't the destination (answer) that's important or revealing about
us or our world. It's the journey.
by Wendy Anderson