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Nana's Christmas Angels 1998

It was one of the most hectic weeks of my life. So many doctors, surgeons, family doctors, oncologists, and some very life shattering or life saving decisions to be made as soon as possible.

On Friday the oncologist said that there was a very small window of hope for treatment of my pancreatic cancer. My decision was, should I try a second biopsy or let things continue as they are. The pain has been the worst part, and that could hopefully, be reduced by a procedure called a "nerve block", which would literally cut off the nerves to the abdominal area which were causing the pain. The decision was no contest. I knew I wanted that done in spite of the downside which could or could not result in minor problems. They were minor to me in comparison with the pain I was experiencing and the reactions to the morphine I was having. The big decision had to be made to have the biopsy as soon as possible so we could get on with the treatment or whatever.

My Daughter and I left the oncologist's office with mixed feelings. She, of course, hoped that I would "Go for it". I, having experienced one unsuccessful biopsy, was not sure if I wanted to subject myself to more of the same. My Daughter took me home, saw me comfortably settled and I am sure that she was praying, as she left, that I would make the right decision, as she saw it, and go for it.

It was not a restful night, at 6am, on Saturday morning, I was startled into consciousness by a bright light shinning through my bedroom window. It was the most beautiful sunrise I had seen. It was breathtaking. This sunrise was spectacular with ribbons of aqua blue, pink and purple, like a rainbow only horizontal. I was so awed by this that I called my daughter, wakened my son in law and told them to find a window to view the spectacle. While I watched the colour fade, a large flock of ducks flew across my window view. Then the ducks flew to the south and doubled back, and headed straight for my window. They dispersed as they came by the building.

It took me only second to recover and realize that my decision to have the biopsy had been made by my angels who were sent to deliver the message from our Heavenly Father.

I had always been a believer but like most everyone, I was skeptical about certain doctrines, no more.

I knew the biopsy was going to be successful this time and the "tiny window" of hope would be a positive one.

I have my loving family and friends who have been supporting me with their prayers, flowers, books, cards, phone calls and visits, all during this difficult week.

They are my angels here on earth and I bless them all.

For my caring and loving family who have given me the strength to Go for it,

Love Nana

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A letter written to her loving family by their mother and grandmother. The biopsy was successful and she did have additional time to be with her family.