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Universal Rules Help Us Adapt to Life

    There are rules about life that are universally shared like: Life isn�t fair. Time and time again in our life experiences, we gather evidence to verify the truth of this rule. Things oftentimes don�t go our way. Decisions are made our on our behalf that seem unjust. Sometimes friends and family treat us unfairly, can�t be trusted, and betray us. Some people we meet are mean, greedy, or selfish, and take advantage of us.

    We often brood and get stuck in our negative situations, thinking that the rules of life will change. We reason and logically reflect upon the circumstances that lead to our disappointment, but nothing improves. We often feel victimized by other people, bureaucracy, the establishment, the system, or an organization. We have no power or authority to make the changes needed to reverse judgments and change the outcomes. We slip into a funk � and oftentimes stay there.

    Being forlorn, melancholy and inconsolable makes you appear depressed, blue, and wretched to others. These are not attractive qualities. As you exhibit these feelings, you will appear unfriendly, antisocial, miserable and unhappy. You may repel others. People may not want to be around you, call you on the phone, invite you to go out with them, spend time with you at your home, or know what to do to help you. Consequently, you may be ignored and avoided.

    I have identified another rule in life that may help you when things aren�t going the way you hoped, and life hasn�t treated you fairly. No one can make you feel bad or good; you create your own feelings.

    Feelings of joy and feelings of depression are created internally. Pessimism is a state of mind. You make your own decisions about what you think about and how you feel about life. It is a choice to be in a dejected state or one of optimism.

    Another universal rule in life: The world does not revolve around you. Facing this rule is hard for those who have been self-centered and self-absorbed. You can tell that you have this selfish tendency when you notice that people aren�t adapting their plans to suit your requests. It may be time to readjust the way you see your role in life and your importance relative to the importance of others.

    You need to find balance between times of joy and times of sadness. Losses need to be accepted. Victories need to be celebrated. Life is made of dramatic episodes or events that can lead to extreme stress. Oftentimes, these episodes make life interesting and memorable. We are in search of peaceful moments in our lives and want the drama to go away. Conflicts and struggles are a part of life and cannot be avoided. As we accept these hardships, we learn coping skills that will help us as we mature. As we learn these rules and apply them to our daily life, we adapt ourselves to life.

    � Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D.

    Rosemarie Speaks

    Rosemarie works with organizations and corporations that want to bring out the best in their people, and she demonstrates how to live life with conviction. She is the author of Take Back Your Life and Ms. Wheelchair Ohio 2004.

    Rosemarie would like to receive your comments about the impact her article has made on your life. Write her at: Rosemarie@RosemarieSpeaks.com