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    Apologizing isn�t always the easiest thing to do. When we act toward someone in a way that goes against the goodness within us, we also violate ourselves and that hurts us. So in making the apology, we first have to face up to ourselves. That means we have to look at how we�ve let ourselves down. That makes us feel bad. We feel ashamed. We feel small.

    Of course we don�t want to feel like that! So sometimes, to fend off those feelings, we put the apology on hold and look for reasons to justify our actions. Even if we manage to find a few that we can make ourselves believe, we don�t feel much bigger. We still feel bad. Did you ever notice that? That�s because that goodness within us is pure. It can�t be fooled. It knows what needs to be done to set things right.

    We need to say we�re sorry. It takes lots of precious energy to try to convince ourselves we haven�t done anything wrong when deep down inside we know we have. The goodness within us will keep reminding us, and we will have to keep telling it to be quiet. It won�t be quiet.

    Let�s not waste energy. Think of all the other great stuff it can be used for! The time to apologize is now� as soon as we realize we need to! Oh yes, it feels awful when we open our mouths to speak. Just awful. We are staring right into the wound we�ve inflicted on our soul and we know that surely there must be similar hurt in the soul of the other.

    But almost the instant the words come out we start to feel better. This is because we honour ourselves, as well as the other when we say �I�m sorry.� We feel strengthened. Fortified. This is what happens when we acknowledge our true selves. We build ourselves up. It�s impossible to feel small anymore.

    It�s hard for us to apologize sometimes. But it can�t be any easier than saying two words.

    � Sally Scott, M.A., R.C.C.