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Sign Board of the Divine

    Driving along the highway one day on my way to an appointment, I found myself thinking yet again about a relationship that had come to a very abrupt end. I had ended it and although I didn�t doubt that it was the right thing to do, the way I ended it didn�t sit well with me. Sudden, final endings that come without warning have happened to me so many times that I can�t help but see this as a major theme running through my life. Being one who interprets these kinds of repetitive, pain inducing events as goldmines for personal growth, I wasn�t happy with the fact that the way I left was sudden, final and without warning. I had fallen back on the exact pattern I was trying to learn from and change.

    Circumstances being as they were, I knew in my heart of hearts there was no going back, not even just to try for a kinder ending, but still I wished I could. For a long time I kept the possibility of a less hurtful goodbye alive in my mind. I was thinking about this and how I might be able to do it as I was exiting the highway that day. At the intersection there is a church with a sign board outside that I always try to read whenever I go by. I don�t know who posts the messages, but they are simple and at the same time deep and powerful, just like my understanding of the Divine. They are God talking.

    As I drove up to the traffic light, my confused thoughts about whether or not I should contact my former friend and whether or not this would make matters better or worse shifted to curiosity about what was on the sign board. I looked at it and was dumbfounded. �There is great wisdom in silence,� it said. I started to laugh. Realizing I had just gotten the answer I was looking for, but not exactly the one I wanted, I spoke back and said �Okay! Well, I guess I can�t argue with you anymore!�

    A number of years ago, in a moment of inspiration, I wrote the following.

    "It�s really important to listen to what God is saying to you. And God is talking all the time. So you have to keep your eyes and ears open because God doesn�t only talk in words. You have to always be looking and listening to get what God is saying. If you aren�t, you�ll miss some important messages that are being given to you to help you.�

    Then I cut this out and made it look pretty. I stuck it in one of my scrapbook/journals and didn�t entirely forget about it, but almost. When obvious synchronicities happened I remembered there was a Higher Power at work, but I didn�t try very hard at the looking and listening part.

    For a long time now I have said that I believe in a Higher Power and I am being truthful. I do. What reading that sign board that day made me realize is that I do not act like I do. My modus operandi has been, �Yes, God is here, but I�m in charge.� Starting that day, I had to face the fact that Higher means higher than me. Higher means knows more and knows better than me. I had to start learning to let go of the reins. I can�t lie and tell you I�ve dropped them by the wayside but at this point on my path, my grip on them is much looser. Not surprisingly, the ride has become much easier, as one would expect with a more qualified driver.

    � July, 2005, Sally Scott, M.A., R.C.C.


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